The reason for the most recent decline in family harmony.

Diana threw her uniform down on the floor in front of the washing machine and breathed a sigh of relief. Ah! Friday! She only had to pick the kids up, make tea, clear up and then a well-deserved glass of wine would be heading her way. She enjoyed her job. She was a catering assistant in a school kitchen. It was not rocket science but she loved it. She had never been career orientated, she just liked to do a job and then go home to her family. She found herself musing about how close she came to not taking this job two years ago.

It was Marie who had actually suggested it to her. This was not as surprising as it seems. Relations were slightly better between the two of them back then - or at least Diana had thought so. Diana was between jobs at the time and Marie had asked if she fancied coming in just for six weeks or so to cover for another member of staff who was off with a broken ankle. It was definitely supposed to be temporary. Diana would not even have considered it otherwise, such were the stories of the awful people who worked there. On starting the job Diana was pleasantly surprised to discover that Marie had been lying through her unbrushed, yellow teeth. None of the people were anything like she (and many others) had been led to believe. To hear Marie speak was to believe that she hated the place, the job, the people and the kids. The chef, Paulo, was certainly not a favourite of hers. She liked to call him 'the cook' to his face in an attempt to demean him. Although Paulo was an Italian name the nearest he had actually been to Italy was the local takeaway. He was keen to 'big-up' his mediterranean roots though. Marie had described him as bad-tempered and unreasonable, incredibly tight-fisted, lecherous and perverse. Marie had also implied heavily that Paulo was in the habit of disappearing into the office with Delia, his second in command, for who-knew-what purpose. According to the ever-complimentary Marie, Delia was a spiteful, stroppy woman who had never liked Marie from the beginning. Apart from thinking that Delia must be a remarkable judge of character Diana had found the two individuals far from their descriptions. Paulo was indeed as tight as the proverbial ducks arse. He was fond of a double-entendre - as apparently his heritage dictated, rarely was an opportunity passed up. And he could be a little grumpy but he was generally quite good company. Delia simply had an air of no-nonsense about her and a lively, if sometimes a little naive sense of humour. Diana had definitely never been given the impression that these two married people were having an affair. Next on the list was Catrin. The eldest of the ladies in the kitchen, Catrin was from a large irish farming family and her youngest child had recently left the school. Marie had described Catrin as useless - in a word! Posessed of only two speeds - slow and stop! Marie had no interest in her, presumably because Catrin did not seem to concern herself with the banalities of who said what to who etc. Diana found Catrin a little quiet and prone to becoming a little low from time to time. Certainly she went at her own pace but Diana got the distinct impression that this was a lifestyle not something she saved for work. Catrin did, however have have a well developed sense of humour when she chose to employ it. Then there was Clarissa. It had been widely regarded amongst the staff that if anyone had been Maries' particular friend it had been Clarissa, certainly the woman herself could have been forgiven for thinking so. Diana had heard of Clarissa several years before she met her at work. Marie reported that Clarissa was brain-dead. Utterly ruled by her over-bearing husband who did not like women to think for themselves. It had grated heavily on Marie that Clarissa had been honest/foolish enough to admit that she worked in this kitchen for company, she really did not need the money. Marie was a very jealous and bitter woman. Diana quite liked Clarissa. She was sweet. A little more twee than Diana was accustomed to, but sweet. Yes, she could be fussy at times but in the ten months since Marie had left the job Clarissa had shown signs of a mischievous sense of humour. Diana almost felt as though she had been luring Clarissa to 'the dark side'. At Dianas wedding Clarissa had sported a glamorous and daring cleavage displaying dress. Hubby did not seem THAT controlling now did he!

The next set of people simply had to be recounted together. They were a group that Marie had described disdainfully as 'Dianas Cronies'. It had been a bitter pill for Marie to swallow that although she had been in the job for a number of years she had been unable to bond with these people and yet Diana arrived and, as a foursome they just clicked in that magical way that the best of friendships happen. Marie had described the ladies thus:- Jasmine - money-grabbing (which was a bit rich coming from Marie), always first to scoop any overtime, absolutely not to be trusted! She would pretend to be your friend and then stab you in the back as soon as look at you! Coleen - another one in the useless catagory. Walked around all day with a cloth in her hand pretending to be busy. Apt to skiving off with back problems when she was actually shopping or on holiday. Sherry - Pathetic! Mousey! Dithery! Over-sensitive! To Diana, these people were the best part of the job. Jasmine was a hard worker who loved a bargain almost as much as she loved a 'do'. She had a wicked sense of humour and was someone Diana felt able to confide in. They shared a similar sense of humour and a love of nosy fly-on-the-wall documentaries. Coleen was happy and funny. She never let Paulo get away with anything, not a sexist dig or a smutty comment and Diana had never seen anyone try so hard to find the good in absolutely everyone. Sherry had a heart of gold. She really would do anything for anyone if it was within her capabilities She was a sensitive soul who came from a close family and had an expectation that the world and the people in it were inherently good. This viewpoint had taken a bit of a knocking since she had met Marie.

Marie had moved on to pastures new these days and now worked in a local bakery. Before she had departed Diana and the 'cronies' had met at one of their houses and pooled their information in order to clear the air. Various whispers had reached them all and they were not comfortable with all that they heard and who they had all heard it from. Marie had been a very busy bee. Stirring and bitching to them all indiviually. The chief reason for this seemed to be bitterness at not being 'in the gang'. It reminded Diana of the childish games that Marie had played twenty years previously and indeed continued to play to stir up trouble between Katy and Diana. Diana had felt very touched and emotional to discover that although Marie had been whining about her to the girls for some months they had not batted an eyelid. They had discussed it between themselves and decided that they knew both women well enough that Marie's bitter ramblings could be dismissed as exactly that. As soon as Marie realised that she had been seen in her true colours she began looking for a new job. Once a new position was secured she went straight back to the whinging and the lying. Moaning to anyone foolish enough to listen that she had been forced out of a job she loved by her evil younger sister who had presumably mesmerised people Rasputin-fashion. The only thing that slightly riled Diana was that Marie had taken the time to gossip to some of the teachers. Apparently she had been overheard by a 'cronie' describing Diana as 'the village bike'. This bothered Diana because not only was it not true but Dianas' sons attended the school. Also it seemed a little odd that Marie talked with such authority about Dianas life when in fact she, Marie, was no part of it and so knew very little about her youngest sister. They had never moved in the same circles, mostly because Marie had never had a circle. It must be said though, that Marie was very fair in the distribution of her poison. She had told Diana some interesting, though unbelievable tales about some of the teachers she claimed to know well. For example: According to Marie, Miss Cricket the philosophy teacher frequently wandered the halls smelling strongly of some substance of which she partook which Marie could/would not name and she had. apparently, received a warning from the head for teaching a class whilst as high as a kite. For want of anything better to say at this point Diana had felt compelled to point out that no one used the phrase 'as high as a kite' anymore. Then, Marie told her there was a male teacher who had been warned to stay away from teenage girls. Diana often wondered whether Marie ever replayed these things back to herself in her head and realised how absurd she sounded. Drugs, lechery - around children? Listen to yourself woman!

At Dianas wedding she had introduced the girls to her best friend of twenty years, Avaline. They had all got on famously which delighted Diana no end. They were all now trying to synchronise calenders for a screening of the wedding dvd. Woo hoo! That was going to be a good night. Avaline was a feisty, opinionated whirlwind of a woman who shared Dianas slightly off-centre view of the world. It had recently come to light that Marie had told James, who had told his 'daddy' that Avaline was the 'Fleetwood Slapper'. Diana could not help thinking that Marie had an unhealthy obsession with how much sex people were having and that perhaps this was a reflection of something that was sadly lacking in her life. It was also a shame that Marie had formed and shared this opinion as Avaline had been the only person that Diana knew who had thought that Marie looked pretty on her wedding day. Unfortunately Dan, Avalines husband had also heard the rumours and was now eagerly awaiting an introduction to both the spineless James and the delightful Marie. Dan was a lovely man, usually very reasonable, but also a very loyal husband and .... built like a juggernaut! If he ever runs into the hapless pair I'll be the first to let you know.